hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
