I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Who died my cat blue again?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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