The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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