but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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