Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That's intense
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
