I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
