i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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