I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
