I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
