So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
