His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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