butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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