look no pants
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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