guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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