No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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