So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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