Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
