mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
