I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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