He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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