Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
MIDGETS
????
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
