dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
