I must be too annoying 4 u.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
