he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Boobs are out for the taking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
