Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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