Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
