margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
