I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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