Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
foreskin is a definite game changer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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