The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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