so let's talk penis.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
