your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
