you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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