Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
