i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
