I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
