If i come over, it means nothing
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
