I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize