'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
