508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
