So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
