I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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