I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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