Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
