How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize