Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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