If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the day after is always just damage control
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
