no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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