you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
