i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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