Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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