i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
