i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize