I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
