Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
