We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
