that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
