Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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