maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
