party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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