I must be too annoying 4 u.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
