You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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