just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
