Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
