Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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